Death of A Madman

Wow. Historic night. We watched the announcement live with the kids, and made sure they understood the significance, on numerous levels, of the death of Osama Bin Laden and President Obama's announcement of it. We will continue talking about it all throughout the week, I know.
Za Boo was very upset right before she went to bed, and I asked her what was wrong. She was worried about the fact that although it was wrong for Bin Laden and the al Queda to attack the U.S., now that we have killed Bin Laden, they will retaliate against us. "Mama, if they attack us again, then we'll attack them again, and the revenge will keep going. Unless someone can be the bigger person, and say 'It was wrong of them to kill my...' what? Their mother? Yeah, '...it was wrong of them to kill my mother, but I will stop and not attack anyone back.' [If they can say that] then it will be able to stop."

She is right, of course.

I don't really know exactly how I feel. I feel relieved in many ways, although I don't know exactly why, and have no concept of how to articulate it right now. I feel glad about the fact that those who endured the pain of loss due to the events of 9-11 will have a measure of emotional closure. I feel bad at the thought that we had to kill another human being; I would have preferred he had been captured. Because I am a mother, and I imagine I have an inkling for what a mother's love for her child entails, I feel sorrow at his mother's loss. I feel disgust at the cheering and chanting and general lack of decorum being shown by many in the wake of this announcement; we have the right to feel triumph in victory, but I don't feel gloating becomes us as a nation. I am worried about the fact that we will have created a martyr, and I am concerned about what kind of feelings our current ecstatic behavior will inspire in the new martyr's followers. I feel wary about the future, as I have no real doubt that Al Queda WILL retaliate; I feel nervous about the fact that many people and organizations will be hyper-vigilant about their safety and security for the next few weeks, but that the real attack we need to worry about won't come for months, maybe years.

I told Za Boo that she was right about the revenge cycle, it takes someone strong enough to say "I won't retaliate" to stop it; when she said she was not happy about Bin Laden being killed, because "even though he was a bad person to us, his family will miss him," I told her that was okay. Because, I know how she feels. I feel so many different things in trying to process this right now, but the one thing I definitely don't feel, is happy.