Death of A Madman

Wow. Historic night. We watched the announcement live with the kids, and made sure they understood the significance, on numerous levels, of the death of Osama Bin Laden and President Obama's announcement of it. We will continue talking about it all throughout the week, I know.
Za Boo was very upset right before she went to bed, and I asked her what was wrong. She was worried about the fact that although it was wrong for Bin Laden and the al Queda to attack the U.S., now that we have killed Bin Laden, they will retaliate against us. "Mama, if they attack us again, then we'll attack them again, and the revenge will keep going. Unless someone can be the bigger person, and say 'It was wrong of them to kill my...' what? Their mother? Yeah, '...it was wrong of them to kill my mother, but I will stop and not attack anyone back.' [If they can say that] then it will be able to stop."

She is right, of course.

I don't really know exactly how I feel. I feel relieved in many ways, although I don't know exactly why, and have no concept of how to articulate it right now. I feel glad about the fact that those who endured the pain of loss due to the events of 9-11 will have a measure of emotional closure. I feel bad at the thought that we had to kill another human being; I would have preferred he had been captured. Because I am a mother, and I imagine I have an inkling for what a mother's love for her child entails, I feel sorrow at his mother's loss. I feel disgust at the cheering and chanting and general lack of decorum being shown by many in the wake of this announcement; we have the right to feel triumph in victory, but I don't feel gloating becomes us as a nation. I am worried about the fact that we will have created a martyr, and I am concerned about what kind of feelings our current ecstatic behavior will inspire in the new martyr's followers. I feel wary about the future, as I have no real doubt that Al Queda WILL retaliate; I feel nervous about the fact that many people and organizations will be hyper-vigilant about their safety and security for the next few weeks, but that the real attack we need to worry about won't come for months, maybe years.

I told Za Boo that she was right about the revenge cycle, it takes someone strong enough to say "I won't retaliate" to stop it; when she said she was not happy about Bin Laden being killed, because "even though he was a bad person to us, his family will miss him," I told her that was okay. Because, I know how she feels. I feel so many different things in trying to process this right now, but the one thing I definitely don't feel, is happy.

What's simple, what's hard and what's worth it...

What's simple about being a parent? Enjoying and loving my kids.

What's hard about being a parent? Nearly everything, nearly all the time.

What's worth it? All of them. Ender, Za Boo, Monkey Boy, and Raven.

Update on Harry and Za Boo!

Za Boo's passion and excitement for reading have not waned a bit since she began reading 'Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone,' five weeks ago! She is figuratively devouring the series, already on to book four, 'Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire,' and I am adoring it all the way!
She received some money and an Amazon gift card for Christmas from a few different relatives, and she is so excited about hte world of Harry Potter that she chose to use them them in combination to order a genuine Gryffindor scarf and a dvd of "Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban," the third Harry Potter movie. She wants to have all the movies (we already have the first and second movies in the family dvd collection) because "Even if it's not that good an adaption, I can't really compare [the books to the movies] if I haven't seen them all." ;)
She recognizes that the movies don't nearly do justice to the books now, but that, again, is one of the things I love about this all! I LOVE that she is loving reading the book, and I LOVE that she is excited to discuss it after reading. And I LOVE that she is recognizing the differences between the book and the movie, and discussing those differences with the rest of us.
I love that she is counting chapters as she reads, and keeping me updated on what part she is at in the books. I love that we are discussing the books as she reads, and that, for the first time, there really is discussion to be had regarding a book she is reading (the 'Jack Russell Dog Detective' books are wonderful beginning chapter books, and she has enjoyed them, but they don't really bring a lot of hearty discussion material to the table!).
I love that she can't wait to get back to her book, every chance she gets, and that she has already read more in the five weeks since she checked the first book out from the library than she read in eight months on the previous novel she completed (Ozma of Oz). At the rate she is going, she may finish the entire Harry Potter series in under three months! We better start thinking about which series to start her on next!

Anecdote: Imagination, Za Boo and Toy Rubber Snakes

Za Boo has always been an imaginative child, but to simply say that she is 'imaginative' would be an understatement of ridiculously epic proportions. And yet, I think her current passion for reading the Harry Potter books has spurred her imagination on to dizzying new heights!

Case in point, while she was playing with a batch of rubber snakes earlier this evening I heard her, as the voice of a rubber cobra, addressing a rubber python, exclaim: "YOU are a LUXURIOUS constrictor, Sir!"

Za Boo and Harry Potter

Za Boo has been rather taken with Harry Potter these last few days. We watched the second movie (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets) about a week ago and because she was so tiny when it came out and we all saw it in the theater, it was like a new movie to her. She proceeded to watch the first movie (Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone) at the next opportunity, and subsequently asked whether she was old enough to read the books herself.
She is of course, at this age and reading ability, so she checked out the first one from the school library (our copy is a hardbound, and of one of the first print runs, so she didn't feel comfortable reading that copy).
She has been reading it avidly ever since, and at every opportunity.
She has taken the various cloaks, wands, scarves, ties, and other Harry Potter costumes and their accompanying accessories out of the costume bins in the closet, is dressing up in them, and settling down to read. I had to take a picture of her, dressed in her Ravenclaw necktie and Hogwart's robes, while she was immersed in reading her book, it was so adorable!
I love everything about this new phase of hers. I love that we have finally seen a book truly light that fire under her! It had happened with each of the boys: a particular book--and there was never any way to predict which one it would be--would light that fire that, when kindled, ignited into a life-long love of, and passion for, reading, and I have been waiting for it to happen with her!
And I simply cannot overstate how absolutely thrilled I am that it has happened at last with Za Boo!

Location, Location, Lo...Mascot?

Za Boo was musing on the subject of high school mascots earlier this evening, due largely to the fact that Monkey Boy will be starting high school next year and he and I had been discussing, at length, his high school options. He has basically decided on the independent study high school, where he can take high school and junior college classes concurrently, and earn dual credit, but was wistfully noting that the mascot for the local tech high school is a dragon, and, although the mascot is largely irrelevant to him, he would enjoy having a dragon as a mascot, in the event that he was to have a mascot at all.
Za Boo had been amusing herself quietly with a game of solitary Uno during the discussion and, as always, taking in every word. When she realized that Monkey Boy and I's discussion was winding down, she jumped in: "I must start thinking about what high school I will go to," she said, "I will have to decide very near in the future what mascot I will have when I go to high school myself."
Monkey Boy and I both turned and looked at her, startled a bit by her apparently abrupt entrance into the conversation (why, I don't know, though, because we all know she is always listening and quietly processing these things).
"What do you mean, you have to decide what mascot you will have in high school?" I asked, ridiculously oblivious to the fact that the mascot would be a factor in choosing a high school when you are a 9 year old girl.
"Well," she pontificated, "I can be a Cougar, like Ender and The Raven, or an Eagle, like Monkey Boy will probably be, or I can go to the tech high school and be a Dragon, or I might want to be a Bulldog."

It is vital to note, at this point, that a bulldog is the mascot of the cross-town high school; the arch rival high school to the older two kids' high school, and my own Alma-mater.

Always the paragon of calm and rational parenting, I immediately responded "You will not be a Bulldog!!! To do that you have to attend The Bulldog High School! Why would you even say such a thing?!?! You ARE NOT going to The Bulldog High School!"
"Well, Mama," she responded, "I DO like bulldogs better than cougars, because cougars are a type of cat, and bulldogs are dogs. You know how I feel about dogs, Mama."
"Well, be that as it may, you are NOT going to go to The Bulldog High School!!!" I calmly and rationally responded.
"But why, Mama? What's wrong with The Bulldog High School?" Za Boo asked earnestly.
"Well, because, the Cougar High School is better, and it's where your siblings go, and it's better, and, um, well..." and as I was so eloquently summarizing the finer points of why The Cougar High School is the superior learning institution, based, of course, on reasonable and objective criteria, Ender walked in on the discussion.
"What's going on?" he asked, sensing a debate was in progress.
"Za Boo is talking about what high school she wants to go to, based on the mascot," Monkey Boy informed his brother.
Ender looked right at Za Boo, and in an unarguable voice said to her "You do not choose a high school based on its mascot. You chose it based on the quality, where it is located, and, maybe, the people who are going to go there as well." And he walked out of the room.

It was a watershed moment for me; one of those rare moments when you unexpectedly witness all the work you have done in an attempt to teach your child the things he needs to know in order to make good decisions in the world manifesting itself in a simple and profound statement.

We may have a-ways to go yet in helping Za Boo learn these things, but, knowing we have done well by Ender, I feel a whole lot better about our ability to make it happen.

A New Tradition

We have a new tradition for Hallowe’en, begun this year: “All Hallow's Read.”

I love traditions; I am a huge fan them. I grew up with many traditions and I believe it is vital for the kids to grow up and look back fondly, and with amusement, and even with bemusement, at the things that were meaningful, fun, silly, happy, anticipated and even dreaded (in a nostalgic 'I can't believe Mama made Fruit Cake every year!' kind of way), as we mark the passing of the days, seasons and years in their life journeys. Many of our family's traditions have been adopted, adapted and handed-down from the traditions that Amazing Husband and I grew up enjoying in our childhoods, and many are new, and were evolved or created along with our growing family over the past many years.

If the truth were to be told, Amazing Husband is possibly less fond of the traditions than I am, mainly because I am, perhaps, a wee bit tradition-centric when it comes to holidays, and that can be a lot of work. Nevertheless, he hangs in there and enjoys the existing traditions as we circumnavigate the calendar each year. Despite enjoying the already existing traditions, however, he tends to be a bit...skeptical, when I talk about adding new traditions. We both know it is because of the amount of work involved, and in all honesty, his main concern has always been that we not add traditions unless we are reasonably sure we will be able to maintain them in the future, because consistency in the kids' lives is as important to him as it is to me, and he hates to disappoint them.

So, for example, when I was inspired to add a St. Patrick's Day Treasure Hunt tradition--based on an imaginative and whimsical tradition I read about on my friend Fawndear's blog [...FawnDear...: Magic by Moonlight ]--to the long list of regular days, holidays, achievements, accomplishments and events we mark each year as they go by, he basically put the kibosh on it. Realistically, as Amazing Husband pointed out during our discussion about my desire to add a St. Patrick's Day Treasure Hunt to our laundry list of annual traditions, we have no less than twenty-three birthdays and anniversaries between March and April alone, and when you calculate in Dr. Seuss’s B-day/Read across America Day, St. Patrick's Day (we do already have a few existing traditions), and Easter, the mere suggestion of adding anything else is kind of ludicrous. Particularly when said 'something' is as involved as an individualized Leprechaun’s-Pot-of-Gold treasure hunt for each kid. Consequently, Amazing Husband and Common Sense won that debate, and I regulated my daydreams of St. Patrick's Day Treasure Hunts to the 'Things I Can Do For My Grandkids Because I Will Have A Lot More Time By Then' queue.

When I discovered the suggestion of the All Hallow's read tradition, however, I knew we would both be on the same page about adding it to our family's tradition repertoire!

Here is how it happened:

I am an avid reader of author Neil Gaiman's blog, and just about a week before Hallowe’en he wrote a post observing that there aren't enough book-giving holidays, and suggested the idea of an "All Hallow's Read" tradition to remedy the situation. [The original blog post is here: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2010/10/modest-proposal-that-doesnt-actually.html ]

I loved the idea, and when I presented it to Amazing Husband he was on board with it right away. (Although he did say he would have preferred a bit of notice, as I kind of sprung it on him on the day of Hallowe'en!). Next year we will be preparing for it over the weeks in advance of the holiday, and really shop around for the best deals at the local used bookstores and such, but for this year we just popped over to the Big Name Bookstore nearby, and gleefully bought spooky books all around!

Ender has been very into the classics lately, so we bought him Mary Shelly's Frankenstein.

Monkey Boy was a bit tricky, as his tastes don't generally run to the spooky, but we ultimately decided on Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book for him, as we thought he might enjoy it, and, of course, we had to include at least one book by the author who inspired the new tradition!

Za Boo was even harder to shop for than Monkey Boy, as generally even the mention of anything spooky sends her running, but we settled on The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley, as it appears to focus more on the mystery/detective aspect of the genre, than the scary stuff. I've had my eye on that one for her for awhile, and this was a great opportunity to include it in a way that wouldn't feel overwhelming; time will tell if she can handle its degree of scary.

The Raven could have been the hardest to buy for, because she thoroughly enjoys the scary and there are so many choices that it might have been hard to narrow it down, but she had recently finished Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, so the logical choice for her was The Vampire Lestat, which is what we bought.

Amazing Husband had been wanting to re-read Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury, and we did not have a copy in the house, so he got that, and I chose Coraline, by, again, Neil Gaiman, because I have been interested in reading it ever since seeing the movie.

We bought another Neil Gaiman book, American Gods, for my best friend. We are both avid readers, and have always shared books with each other, so it was a no-brainer to include her in the new holiday tradition!

We didn't buy anything at the bookstore for MiL, as she has basically given up printed books since the acquisition of her Kindle, but we did tell her to choose a scary book on the Kindle, and we would gift it to her.

The kids were delighted by the new books and the new tradition when we presented them with both just before Trick-o-Treat was about to commence on Hallowe'en evening. Everyone has been happily reading all week, and the only problem now, is having to wait a whole year until we can celebrate All Hallow’s Read again! ;)


http://journal.neilgaiman.com
http://fawndear.blogspot.com
http://www.allhallowsread.com

The Train Trip - Day 6

Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Well, we had our first rough day today. We had planned to get up and swim for awhile, and then go back to Golden Gate Park to hit the Japanese Tea Garden & Shakespeare's Garden, which we missed yesterday because the museum was so utterly engaging, and be back by five to meet Uncle Buddy for dinner. But we overslept, again, and got to the pool about an hour and a half after we had been planning to be there. Raven stayed in the room and slept, and by the time we got back to the room and then back out the door to head for the park, we were running nearly three hours behind the plan. We made it to the park by three, but we got off at the wrong stop--about 4 stops early--and had to walk through the park to get to the Gardens we were planning to visit, which wouldn't have been sooo bad, except that it was particularly cold today, we were wearing shorts, and everybody had low blood-sugar because we got up so late that we skipped breakfast in order to try and get to the Park earlier.
We saw the Conservatory of Flowers on the way, and I was able to take a few pictures with Za Boo's camera, but unfortunately, we were too cold to really appreciate it. They were advertising the carnivorous plant exhibit there as well, but we had neither the time nor the money to visit it, unfortunately.
We had what would otherwise have been a nice stroll through the park, though, on our way to find the Gardens of our focus.
When we came to the Japanese Tea Garden it was adjacent to the park amphitheater, and we settled for a picture of the kids on the amphitheater stage, although we would have enjoyed the chance to see a performance there.
Just outside the Japanese Tea Garden was a Waffle stand, and we were hungry, but were waiting to eat at the restaurant inside the Tea Garden.
Well, at this point the boys were cold, the girls and I were freezing, all of us were hungry, and cranky because of it, and I had sprained my toe when we were getting off the bus, so when it turned out that the Japanese Tea Garden now charges for admission (either it didn't when I went there years ago, or no one told me we had had to pay to get in), we almost didn't go in.
However, I have had my heart set on sharing the Japanese Tea Garden with the kids since the beginning of the PLANNING of the trip, so I made a quick decision, ponied up the funds, and in we did ultimately go!
And, in the end, everyone had a good time!
We had hot cocoa and fortune cookies in the Tea House (they were out of nearly EVERYTHING we wanted to order to actually eat), and cheered when we heard (via text from Amazing Husband) that Prop 8 was overturned today!
We had waffles from the Waffle Cart on the way out of the Tea Garden, and they were delicious! We caught the bus back to the hotel (and it didn't break down this time!) and arrived with enough time to get warmed up and changed for dinner by the time Uncle Buddy arrived.
We headed out to find 'The Stinking Rose" (They season their garlic with food!), and had the opportunity to explore Little Italy, and, inadvertently, the red light district on the way. We had an amazing and delectable dinner--Ender, Monkey Boy & Za Boo ate 'Vampire Fare' (minimal garlic), while Uncle Buddy, Raven and I all indulged in the full menu of the pungent house specialty. It was delicious!
We went to a chocolate, gelato and candy specialty shop across the way for a fitting dessert (Courtesy of Uncle Buddy).
We had taken the bus to little Italy (well, actually we had taken the bus to the end of Chinatown, and walked into Little Italy from there, which is how we ended up on our inadvertent tour of the red light district), and we walked back to the hotel through the dark and quiet business buildings, which was an adventure all in itself. Za Boo LOVED being in the business area of town! Uncle Buddy lived in the city for a number of years, so he had all kinds of information and trivia that we enjoyed hearing.
We visited for a bit back at the hotel, and The Papa was able to talk to Uncle Buddy on the phone and catch up.
We are headed to bed now, because we have to be up early to check out, and we are off to Vallejo via the Ferry tomorrow! Happy dreaming!

The Train Trip - Day 2

We woke up late, relaxed, organized the room, got everybody showered and headed out to get a bite, and our bearings. We had lunch at Jamba Juice, Subway, and ended with Starbucks (free Wi-Fi was needed to help in the "getting our bearings" aspect of our excursion). Not exactly a flavor of the local scene, which we generally prefer to visit when traveling, but it was necessary and appropriate for the circumstances at that point. We saw awesome street vendors, many performers, some significantly overweight pigeons, and finally made our way to the Powell Street Transit Station, which was where we had set out to go in the beginning. We inadvertently found the Visitor's Center, which was just what we needed, but was already closed, and made plans to go back again tomorrow. We explored the station a bit, picked up a transit schedule, and headed back to the hotel by way of the street vendor area. We stopped at a Walgreen's (of which there was one on nearly every corner -there are more of them than there are Starbucks!) and in the attempt to purchase a few inadvertently forgotten sundries, had an injury incident with Bekka; she accidentally pulled the shopping cart over and landed on the ground, hitting her head on the floor, while the cart landed on top of her, and hit her face, causing a cut and a fat lip where her braces and her lip briefly became one. We managed to get her lip and braces separated, and all the blood cleaned up with the help of a kind fellow shampoo purchaser, all the kids, and a box of "we'll just use it now, and I'll pay for it when we check out" tissues. We finished the shopping and headed back to the hotel. We discovered a variety of local cafes and restaurants to try during the rest of the trip throughout the course of the day, and enjoyed getting the lay of the land. We finished the day with a good swim, dinner in our room, and a movie on the hotel network. Goodnight!

Universal Truth RE: Tired Kids

Screaming "I am NOT tired!" while crying hysterically and stamping your feet, is irrefutable proof that the opposite is, in fact, true.

At Least She's Not Afraid to Try New Things

We are rushing around getting ready to leave for school one morning late last week, when Za Boo (ready with her shoes and socks on, schoolbag and lunch box in hand, and ready to go) says, "Mama, this morning when I went to get my socks out, there was a really weird pair of socks in my drawer that I've never seen before."
I (in the midst of rushing around trying to be sure that Ender and Monkey Boy got out the door on time, along with trying to find my own shoes and not forget any of the items I needed to take out the door with me that day) replied, "Oh, well, I don't know anything about a weird pair of socks, but just put them in the basket in my room, and I will figure out what to do with them later."
At which point she replied, in complete and total seriousness, but with a cheery lift to her voice, "Oh no, it's okay. I'm wearing them."

It's all about financial independence

We are at Barnes & Noble and my up-and-coming second grader (aka Za Boo) is looking at journals and notebooks when she says to me: "Because I am going to be living on my own at some point, I am going to need a cookbook. But I don't want to spend money on a cookbook. I have a great idea; I am going to buy a notebook, and then we can make a cookbook of all the recipes I want."

I kid you not.

Clearly we need have no concerns as parents that she will still be living with us at the age of twenty-five, or, apparently, eight. Although I do have to wonder if we have hyper-achieved that goal.

Regardless, the kid is independent and determined. The "industrious beaver" was revealed to be her 'animal spirit guide' on the Brother Bear Challenge Trail at California Adventure when we went on vacation at the beginning of summer, and I have to give more credit to Disney than I would previously have thought. That could be her in a word: industrious. Although I don't feel it does her justice; a single word can in no way convey the many diverse aspects of her personality. But I digress...

She is a hard-worker, a bargain shopper, and better at saving money than many well-established adults.

When asked by well-intentioned relatives what she does with her allowance, she answers very seriously "Mainly, I count it." She then matter-of-factly answers the inevitable follow-up question regarding how much she has with: "About $300.00." (I am thinking it's probably a relevant fact at this point that her allowance is $5.00 every two weeks.)

After the shock has passed and the relatives in question have closed their mouths and made the requisite self-depreciating jokes about how they don't even have three hundred dollars(!), my suegra will always go on to point out that Za Boo regularly makes change for her when my suegra needs to break a twenty, or a fifty. It is a bit of a none-too-subtle brag, but she's entitled, as she raised the man who fathered the seven-year-old financial prodigy apparent. (Would it be a none-too-subtle brag on my part to say that in fact she actually often answers not just with the exact amount she has at that time, but also goes on to indicate the numbers of each denomination of bill and coin she has which comprise said total?)

We went on to shop around and compare all the notebooks in the store and ultimately found one on clearance that was 40% off, which came to $4.84 including tax, but after the B&N Membership discount. A good deal, as J.D. Jr. herself will tell you, having worked it out on the calculator she had brought along in her black and red dragon purse for the purpose.

By the way, the first recipe she requisitioned for inclusion in the book (which she promptly copied in upon arrival at home) was a recipe for Snickerdoodles. ;)